You’re Not Lazy—You’re Overwhelmed, and That Matters

How many times have you looked at your to-do list, sighed deeply, and thought: “Why can’t I just get it together? I must be lazy.”

Sis, let me stop you right there.

You are not lazy.

You are overwhelmed. That matters more than you realize.

🌪 The Weight of Overwhelm

For women—especially Black women over 35—life often feels like a never-ending balancing act. Careers, caregiving, health, relationships, community…we carry so much. When your plate is overflowing, you don’t have the energy to tackle everything on it.

Overwhelm is not a character flaw. It’s a signal. A reminder that you’ve been carrying too much for too long.

🧠 Why We Mistake Overwhelm for Laziness

Laziness says, “I don’t care.”

Overwhelm says, “I care deeply, but I don’t know where to start.”

Think about that difference. Most of the women I work with care so much—about their families, their health, their purpose, their future. But caring without capacity leads to paralysis. The more you pile on, the harder it feels to take even one step forward.

💡 Reframing the Narrative

When you call yourself “lazy,” you shame yourself into silence. But when you acknowledge overwhelm, you give yourself permission to pause and reset.

Here’s how I’ve been shifting my own mindset:

• Instead of saying, “I’m so lazy,” I say, “I need rest before I can move forward.”

• Instead of saying, “I never finish anything,” I say, “I need smaller steps I can actually complete.”

• Instead of saying, “I should do more,” I say, “I’m doing enough, and tomorrow is another chance.”

🌱 Practical Ways to Ease Overwhelm

Here are small but powerful steps I use to move through overwhelm without self-blame:

1. Write it down. Get everything out of your head and onto paper. A clear list makes a crowded mind lighter.

2. Choose one thing. You don’t need to do all 10 tasks today. Just start with one.

3. Take mini breaks. Step away. Breathe. Stretch. Drink water. Rest is productive.

4. Celebrate the small wins. Folded the laundry? That counts. Walked for 10 minutes? That counts too.

5. Ask for help. Overwhelm doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means you’re human.

💖 A Gentle Reminder

You are not lazy. You are navigating a demanding season of life with strength, grace, and persistence. Overwhelm is not the end of your story—it’s just a signal that you deserve more support, more rest, and more compassion.

✨ Your Turn: The next time you catch yourself calling yourself “lazy,” pause. What’s really going on? What can you release, rest from, or ask for help with?

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With love,

Fallon